How Do You Raise Amazing Children How Do You Teach Them To Be Kind And Honest, Insightful And Inquisitive, Athletic And Curious, Loving And Thoughtful How Do You Give Your Child The Courage To Be A Good Sport, A Good Sibling, A Good Friend, A Good Person When Tom Sturges Became A Father, He Wanted To Be The Greatest Father Who Ever Walked The Earth I Wanted To Be So Much Than A Casual Observer Of My Son S Life As It Went By Me So Sturges Asked A Lot Of Questions He Picked Up Ideas, Advice, And Tips From Parents, Grandparents, Even Rock Stars And Sports Legends Anyone Who Had Unique Insights To Share The Result Is This Practical, Inspiring Rule Book For Raising Healthy, Happy, Safe, Cherished Children Philosophical, Sensible, And Empowering, These Ideas Subscribe To A Simple Premise It Is Impossible To Respect A Child Too Much, But It Is Worth The Effort To Try The Rules Are Organized Into Seven Fields, Arranged By Subject, And Will Help Parents, Mentors, Coaches, And Anyone Who Has Children, To Deal With An Array Of Situations In A Kind, Respectful, And Encouraging Way EVERYDAY Let Your Children Feel Welcome And Loved From The First Moment He Or She Walks Into A Room Smile When You See Him Rule And Leave No Doubt That, At That Moment, Your Child Is The Most Important Person In Your World COMMUNICATING Since Yelling Parents Intimidate, And A Calm Tone Inspires, When You Get Upset, Whisper Rule And Make Sure Your Message Is Heard MANNERS MATTERS Follow The Bill Walton Rule, Rule And If You Can T Be On Time, Be Early NO LOST CHILDREN When A Family Or Group Travels Together, Obey The Caboose Rule Rule By Assigning An Adult Or Older Child To Keep Up The Rear And Ensure That No Little Ones Lag Behind DISCIPLINES AND PUNISHMENTS The Second Rule Rule Prescribes The Minimum Amount Of Time You Should Wait Before Thinking About Punishing Your Child For That D In English PAIN HAPPENS, NOW WHAT After Your Child Experiences A Little Cut, Bump, Or Scrape, Say Squeeze My Hand As Much As It Hurts Rule It Is Remarkable How Their Being Able To Show You Will Help To Ease His Or Her Pain PLAY SPORTS, PERIOD When Your Children Accomplish Something Great In Their Sports, Using The ESPN Rule, Rule Tell The Story In Intimate Detail And Fill Them With The Belief That They Can Do It Again And Again From The Hardcover Edition Fairly hit or miss The first third of the book has some good advice, but the latter sections feel rather thin If you re a single dad who s obsessed with sports, this may very well be the perfect book for you For the rest of us, it leaves a lot to be desired For instance, there s no discussion of raising children with a spouse or grandparents in the picture The tone comes across a bit sanctimonious and unrealistic Sturges gives us a lot of rules that should never be broken fair enough But over the thousands of days you re going to spend with your child you will falter now and again There s no discussion of how to reduce the number mistakes we make or how to talk to your child about how parents make mistakes once in a while you simply should never have erred in the first place The hard line approach the book offers has an unappealing whiff of religious zealotry Nevertheless there is some good here, and it s certainly a quick read probably only a couple hours I d recommend a cursory skim and to see if Sturges s style of prose and parenting matches up with your own. Divorced dad of two sons, executive, coach, and teacher Tom Sturges wrote a collection of parenting rules to live by The book contains some worthwhile tidbits, such as 3 Grow the tree you ve got your child might not be exactly what you get, but love him or her for their own unique personality4 Smile when you see them greet your child with love and affection5 Once seen, never unseen protect your child from seeing unpleasant or traumatic things that will scar them for life this is why we kept our then 5 year old son from all news media after 9 11 6 Treat her like your boss treat your child with goodwill and the benefit of the doubt, just as you would your boss22 When you get upset, whisper it carries than yelling33 Thank you notes we are big believers in thank you notes in our household 45 Your child has to know where you are switch the responsibility by advising your child to keep his or her eye on you at all times But here s what I didn t like The obsession with sports a whole chapter of parenting tips related to sports The sanctimonious attitude although I agree that it s a good idea not to yell at children, it s hard to believe that Sturges has never fallen into that trap himselfand in fact, a few of the anecdotes he tells about his own parenting are worse than yelling in my opinion Then there s his ideas to give children the silent treatment as a nonviolent punishment, or to squirt water on a child who is having a temper tantrumso much of the book is exhorting parents to treat children with respect, and then there are these hairbrained ideas, which dilute and discount all the good ideas in the book. One might wonder why a mother of three would pick up this book I wondered that myself at first But with my older two kids just a couple short years from hitting their tween phase, and with my littlest one being a spunky, hot tempered little thing who s quite different from how her older siblings were when they were babies, I thought it would be good to read this book for various reasons 1 to see how my parenting measures up to the principles in this book and 2 to see if I could do something different or better.As it turns out, much of how I had already felt about parenting is echoed in this book, but my style of parenting could be pushed further by the main, overall principle, which is to above all, respect your child and to teach him her what that respect means The principles reiterate a language of understanding and empathy be a good listener, be a good storyteller, hug lots, and be encouraging Not only is this good for the parent, but if done properly and effectively, the child will mirror these actions and learn the importance of this principle in terms of everyday life and interactions.You can read my comments to see what I gathered from the book Keep in mind that I only talk about what I found particularly useful, which doesn t mean that I didn t find everything that I didn t write about not useful Rather, I have already been doing some of the principles and didn t want to repeat them, or I didn t really like the rules The comments are for me to look at and be reminded of what things I can try out.I did tell my two older kids about this book and what I found useful They are very receptive to this discussion, and I m excited to see how it all goes down, especially when my husband takes a look at my review and comments, and we discuss this as a family.I recommend this book to anyone really not just parents who want to examine human interaction from a different lens. I can see how a certain type of parent might find this book helpful, however, I am not that type of parent The author of this book has a child rearing philosophy centered on the idea the the parent is the ultimate authority whose job it is to make the children into something the parent thinks is ideal Tom Sturges is always the teacher and is always right I admit that Sturges does scratch the surface of an important topic treating your kids with respect He doesn t go far enough in my opinion Surges gets lost because he sees his kids a a part of himself He can t see that they are individuals with individual personalities, and assumes that they have motives and abilities that they may not have His kids seem to have so many rules and hedges built around them that they cannot ever hope to find their own limits the kids are so hedged in by what their dad thinks they should do be and what is PC, that I will be amazed if they grow up to be people who know who they are and if they like eggs Benedict He could really use a child development course to understand that 6 year olds should not be criticized for not putting enough effort into a golf game, and that whispered abuse is not necessarily better than yelling.
Is a well-known author, some of his books are a fascination for readers like in the Parking Lot Rules & 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing Children book, this is one of the most wanted Tom Sturges author readers around the world.
- 224 pages
- Parking Lot Rules & 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing Children
- Tom Sturges
- 02 January 2019 Tom Sturges