Just because the male experience of all this sort of thing of fatherhood not naturally come by is a subtle one, and just because it doesn t often get expressed, that doesn t mean there isn t something worth expressing what it feels like to be caught up in this blur of plastic cups and paperwork, committed by love, by vow, and by faith in some Divine Order that there is a plan We lower our shoulders and muscle through, often quite unpleasantly, trying to figure out how to cope, how to pay, how to laugh, how to change, how to be the man in a situation that simply did not exist in ten thousand years of human history prior to 1981 Brooks HansenIt has been a while since I started a book I couldn t put down, especially one I was reading for research purposes for my forthcoming book on infertility grief in couples Although I have not read Hansen s fiction, for which he is better known, his memoir is one of the most candid, memorable, and literary quality autobiographical works I ve read in recent memory The male experience of infertility is a largely untold and understudied story In our society, even in religious circles, we tend to feminize the struggle of childlessness in ways that leave men out of the equation By this account, Hansen would have widened our perspectives of infertility by writing even the most blase, underwhelming memoir But by opening up and writing something that was truly quality work, he shares something with us that is not only important but pleasurable to read.Halfway through the book, Hansen tells of the struggle to write in the midst of the emotional and logistical challenges of infertility treatment Many times, he felt like he was failing as a writer But, eventually concluded, i f you don t on some level feel that you re failing your material, you should probably go find some new material I, for one, am grateful he didn t go find some new material that he stuck with what was hardest to write, and succeeded. I ve been putting off having children until I can safely, finacially support myself This made me want to get pregnant immediatly, just to make sure I can.Quite poignant, and moving Wonderfully written. By Joseph, the author means Jesus adoptive father Behind the title, Brooks Hansen has drafted an infertility and adoption memoir with a voice reminiscent of Paul Reiser than of a man who considers infertility his personal Vietnam After nine or so rounds of failures with IVF, he and his wife fly to Siberia to adopt possibly the only perfectly healthy infant ever to come through the Russian orphanage system They meet him, and he s delightful though for no outwardly discernible reason, they decide not to go through with it They meet another baby the next day at a local hospital in Tomsk The once preemie now sturdy redheaded boy shares his first name with a Russian composer Hansen admires and the couple goes on about the business of adopting him.Don t get me wrong, I ve done this infertility and adoption thing, too And I know that there are all kinds of ways we parents create signs and wonders out of the smallest things we re all looking for the invisible red thread of the Chinese proverb But I guess what I am saying is that Hansen s memoir ultimately fails to make me sympathetic, even to his miracles. Having just read a Mom s perspective, Breeding in Captivity , I was wholeheartedly looking forward to reading a Dad s perspective totally different stories, different families, etc , and I wasn t disappointed but this book was simply too long Stacy Bolt summed it up nicely Brooks Hansen s memoir ended up a novella Meh Of course, I loved the story, and I loved that they made a decision both of them felt was the right one in their hearts and it ends, I presume the baby was a preemie after all , happily ever after, and everyone loves that ending While Miracles In Reproductive Technology Have Brought Joy To Millions, Those Very Advances Have Plunged Many Couples Into An Unrelenting Cycle Of Hope And Heartbreak One Failed Attempt May Lead To Another And Another But How Do You Give Up When There Is Always Another Doctor, Another Procedure Holding Out The Possibility Of Conception And The Child You Yearn For Brooks Hansen Vividly Captures The Emotional Turmoil He And His Wife, Elizabeth, Endured As They Tried To Conceive, The Years Their Lives Were Put On Hold, And The Excruciating Sense Of Loss He Writes Too Of The Couple S Journey Through The Bewildering World Of Adoption A Path To Parenthood Fraught With Financial, Legal, And Emotional Risks Of Its OwnOffering Men A Chance To Be Heard And Women A Rare Opportunity To View The Struggle With Infertility From A Male Perspective, The Brotherhood Of Joseph Brings To Life The Anger, Frustration, Humor, Heartbreak, And Sense Of Helplessness That Come To Dominate The Husband S Role As His Remarkable Account Reaches Its Finale In Siberia, However, Hansen S Once Again Becomes The Story Of A Husband And A Wife Who, Even After Years Of Medical Frustration And Fruitless Paperwork, Still Must Take One Last Risk Together And Trust In Their Most Basic Instincts Before Their New Family Can Be Born Literary Grace That Has The Remarkable Power To Act As A Lens Is How The New York Times Book Review Has Described Hansen S Writing, And That Grace Has Never Been Evident Than In This Remarkable Memoir I skimmed this one I started to read it, but all I could think about while reading is this guy is a pretentious ass so I gave up skimmed It might be of interest to people experience infertility and or adoptings from Russia, otherwise give it a pass. A very interesting book, both in terms of having a man s perspective of fertility problems, and in noting the grim oy vey realities of fertility and adoption.
Is a well-known author, some of his books are a fascination for readers like in the The Brotherhood of Joseph: A Father's Memoir of Infertility and Adoption in the 21st Century book, this is one of the most wanted Brooks Hansen author readers around the world.
- 288 pages
- The Brotherhood of Joseph: A Father's Memoir of Infertility and Adoption in the 21st Century
- Brooks Hansen
- 20 June 2019 Brooks Hansen